Taoiseach Promises Every Village In Ireland Its Own Migrant Centre If Re-elected

Leo

Leo Varadkar has promised to give every village in the country its very own migrant centre if he’s re-elected as Taoiseach. Mr. Varadkar was speaking while on the campaign trail in Dublin today and outlined his intentions to reporters.

“People down the country often get left behind by successive Irish governments. Well no more! Not on my watch. If I am re-elected as Taoiseach I promise that every village in Ireland will have its very own migrant centre by the end of this year. The culchies don’t seem to realise it yet but trust me, it’s for your own good. You’re welcome!”

Mr. Varadkar was asked why local people or their elected representatives are never consulted before a decision is made to locate a migrant centre in their town.

“The main reason we don’t consult the locals first is because half the time I can’t understand a word they say. Basically I don’t speak bogger.”

Last month saw some angry exchanges in the Dáil on the issue after Leitrim TD Barney Fitzmaurice put it to the Taoiseach that there’s a large empty hotel right beside where he lives in West Dublin and asked him if there are any plans to turn that building into a migrant centre.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” replied the Taoiseach. “Castleknock is not that sort of place. You’ll be asking us to open a big dirty halting site next.”