Trump “Pretty Sure” Melania Voted For Biden

Donald Trump has told friends that he’s “pretty sure” his wife Melania voted for his rival Joe Biden in the Presidential Election. The couple are believed to be in a so-called ‘transactional marriage’ just for show and there are strong rumours that they don’t even like each other.

Trump told pals “I tried to take a peek but she saw me and covered it with her hand. Why would she cover it if she wasn’t trying to hide what she was doing? After all I’ve given her she votes for sleepy Joe. As I’ve always said, you can’t trust immigrants. I should just deport her ass.”

It’s not the first time Trump has threatened to deport his wife. Melania is a former model from Slovenia and was granted a US visa in 2001 while dating her multi-millionaire future husband. She somehow obtained a so-called Einstein visa, reserved for immigrants with “extraordinary ability in their field”. It is still not known what field Melania has extraordinary ability in.

Trump said last year “If she tries to divorce me I will have her deported and she’ll never see our son, what’s his name, ever again. The weird one who stares a lot. What’s he called, Junior?”

Meanwhile Mr. Trump continues to cast doubt on the legitimacy of the US voting system, claiming, without producing a single shred of evidence, that there was widespread voter fraud. Apart from in the states that he won where apparently everything was perfectly fine.