Man Sent Shopping For 4 Items Gets 3 Of Them Wrong

A 36-year-old man who was sent to the local Aldi store by his wife for just four things somehow managed to get three of them wrong. Thomas McGuire – who was forced to go shopping for the first time ever because his wife Deirdre was in bed with the flu – said it was one of the worst experiences of his life and he never wants to see the inside of a supermarket again. “Oh my God there’s hundreds of things in there, maybe even millions.” said a distraught Thomas. “How the hell was I supposed to find those exact four things in the middle of all that?”

Instead of bread, milk and eggs Thomas brought home cheese, toothpaste and a tennis racket. The fourth item was a box of cornflakes which he somehow managed to get right. Unfortunately Thomas put the cornflakes on the ground while opening his car and drove off without them.

A recent survey carried out by market research company RegCom suggests more men are going into supermarkets today than ever before. “Our results show that the type of gender stereotyping that applied in previous years is no longer valid.” said Chris Conlon who carried out the survey. “Men play a far more active role in household chores these days and that includes grocery shopping. Unfortunately most of them tend to make an absolute balls of it.”

Chris also told us that the introduction of 24-hour opening in some stores has brought additional problems for male shoppers. “We’ve had instances where men have been found wandering up and down supermarket aisles at 3 and 4 o’clock in the morning having gone in there several hours earlier for a pint of milk.”

Meanwhile we caught up with Thomas McGuire the day after his shopping nightmare. We thought he might like to hear all about online shopping and when we explained it to him his head practically exploded. “You mean you can do the shopping without going to the shop?” he shouted excitedly. “Then why the f**k would you ever go to the shop?”

Thomas immediately opened an account with tesco.ie and finally – to the relief of his still unwell wife Deirdre – ordered the items he was supposed to bring home the previous day. This time however he managed to get all four of them wrong.