Outspoken conspiracy theorist Gemma O’Doherty may have Mad Cow Disease and is probably also a super spreader. That’s according to Professor Philip McIntyre from the Institute of Scientific Research who is an expert in Infectious Diseases and who claims the far right activist shows all the classic symptoms of mad cow.
“Bovine spongiform encephalopathy, commonly known as mad cow disease, is a neurodegenerative condition. In other words it involves the gradual demise of normal brain function. Initial symptoms include confusion and the inability to separate fact from fiction. Eventually the patient starts babbling insane drivel while mentally departing from reality altogether and for some reason developing a weird attraction to men who model their haircuts on Monty Burns from The Simpsons.”
The Professor said his research shows that many people who have come into contact with O’Doherty are also showing signs of serious brain decay.
“I’ve studied the behaviour of those who attend her rallys and the rate of infection is cause for serious concern as they appear to have just a few functioning brain cells left between them.”
Does Professor McIntyre think O’Doherty may have infected her colleague John Waters with Mad Cow Disease too?
“Initial indications would suggest the answer is probably not because he was already a certified nutjob long before he ever met her.”
We asked Gemma O’Doherty herself for her reaction to claims that she has mad cow disease. She told us “This is both insulting and ridiculous. I can assure you I am not mad in any sense of the word. Let’s see who’s laughing when the illuminati lizard people take over our country with their covid-spreading 5G laser beams. I say we learn the language of the lizards, breed with their women and earn their trust. Then we surprise them and rise up from within and crush the invaders. Isn’t John Waters’ hair lovely?”