Loyalists To Pause For A Minute’s Silence For Prince Philip During Tonight’s Riot

Loyalist rioters in the North have said they intend to stop throwing petrol bombs and observe a minute’s silence in honour of Prince Philip during tonight’s riot. The teenage thugs have been rioting in various flashpoints across the North all week and said tonight will be no different, except for a one minute pause for Prince Philip who passed away this morning.

Norman Winterbottom from Belfast told us “Oh aye! God save the Queen. We love the Royal family. We’re devastated at the news about Philip and we’ll pay our respects to him tonight by taking a break from trying to kill and disfigure police and fenians for a minute. Lol. Then it’s bombs away.”

We asked Norman if he could explain to us what exactly he and his friends are actually rioting about?

He replied “Eh …….. God save the Queen! Fuck the Pope! Up the Rangers!”

We asked him if it’s predominantly about the Sinn Féin members not facing any disciplinary action for breaking Covid regulations by attending the Bobby Storey funeral or is it more about the symbolism created by the checks that apply to goods travelling from Britain into Northern Ireland, creating an invisible border down the Irish Sea, symbolically separating Northern Ireland from the rest of the UK?

“Aye.” he told us. “That’s it. All that stuff you said. Fuck the Pope! God save the Queen! No surrender to the IRA. Fenian bastards.”

Norman said the riots will continue until their demands are met but they don’t really have any so until they have to go back to school instead.