Louis Walsh Unveils New Boy Band

Irish music mogul Louis Walsh has unveiled yet another boy band but this time he’s gone up several decades in age.

His latest crop of hopefuls were formed after Louis went wandering around the streets desperately searching for his next success story after a series of recent flops.

“I approached several good looking young lads on the street but most of them threatened to call the cops. Then I came across these four guys sitting on a bench and suddenly it hit me. Oldboyz.”

Louis said Oldboyz probably won’t go on tour or perform live as two of them can barely walk and all four are half deaf. So what kind of music should we expect from Oldboyz and can they sing?

“Sing? Since when did that matter to me? Only one of Boyzone can actually sing and none of Westlife. As long as they can dress up in white suits and mime to ‘You Raise Me Up’ or some other dreadful mush then we’re in the money. You think I care about music? I gave the world Jedward remember. I hate music. It’s all about the wonga.”

Louis was due to introduce Oldboyz to the world on tonight’s Late Late Show on RTE1. Unfortunately one of them has apparently just died in the last few minutes. Doctors suspect natural causes.