Anti-Lockdown Protesters Ensure Lockdown Will Continue Even Longer

Hundreds of anti-lockdown protesters ensured the lockdown will continue even longer than had been expected by gathering in Dublin earlier today. The super-spreader event took place in the city centre and those in attendance presented their argument against science and facts by throwing fireworks at Gardaí.

None of the protesters wore masks as they tried to make their way to St. Stephen’s Green before having their route blocked by Gardaí. It is not known what they intended to do there or if speeches were planned at the rally but Gardaí say that probably wasn’t on the agenda as most of the organisers seem incapable of stringing a full sentence together.

Dr. Philip McIntyre is a Bachelor of Science at Dublin’s Institute for Scientific Research where he has been teaching Behavioural Studies for the past 10 years. We asked him what type of people would have taken part in today’s protest.

“Generally speaking these are the same people who believe the moon landings were fake, the Earth is flat and facemasks turn people gay. They also tend to spend most of their lives posting uninformed drivel on social media – usually in capital letters – and have the spelling and grammar of a backwards 8 year-old. In other words, thick as shit, every last one of them.”