Liverpool Officially Shite Again

Liverpool are shite again and that’s official. Last year’s Premier League champions have all but given up on retaining their title after a string of poor results, including today’s 4-1 drubbing at home to Manchester City, sees them sitting in 4th place, 10 points behind the league leaders having played a game more.

The Premier League officially classifies a team as shite using a detailed and complicated formula that includes things such as money spent, last season’s finishing position and fan expectations.

FA chairman Ben Worthington told the BBC “When you take all these factors into account, Liverpool are actually more shite than the teams battling relegation at the bottom of the table. This is not a good day if you’re a bin dipper.”

As a consequence of being shite, Liverpool’s next game will now not be televised and Sky Sports will be showing Dover Athletic v Barnet instead.