Local Man Waits ’til Wife Is Drying Last Dish To Ask If She Needs A Hand

A local man who cleverly waited until his wife was drying the last dish after yesterday’s dinner before asking her if she needed a hand has admitted it’s something he does regularly.

52 year-old Tom Hogan from Tullamore pretended to be busy on his laptop but was actually monitoring his wife Deirdre’s progress before carefully choosing the right moment to offer his assistance.

“It’s all about timing.” said Tom. “I’ve got it down to a fine art. And of course the next time she complains about me not helping around the house I can say I offered but you said no. I don’t see why she can’t just leave them there after she washes them to be honest. They’ll be dry in an hour anyway so what’s the point? A complete waste of time and effort if you ask me.”

Is it just drying the dishes Tom doesn’t like?

“Oh God no. I use that for everything. Like when she’s peeling the last spud or ironing my last shirt. My favourite one is when I pretend to be asleep and then run outside and say ‘I’ll do that!’ just as she finishes mowing the lawn. Lol!”

We asked Tom if he’s always been a lazy bastard or if it’s just a recent thing.

“Ah I do get off me arse sometimes in fairness. There’s a lot of moss on the roof for example that needs removing and obviously I’d never let her get up there ‘coz it’s just too dangerous so I attached a really long pole to a scraper and now she can reach it from the ground. I do my bit.”