New €50 Million Roundabout Completed In Just Two Years Opens In Kildare

A brand new state of the art roundabout that took only two years to complete at a cost of just €50 million was officially opened yesterday in Newbridge, Co. Kildare. A crowd of well over nine people gathered for the opening ceremony and mayor of Newbridge Barney Fitzmaurice told them it was a great day for the town.

“This is what can be achieved when the nation’s top architects and engineers bring their talents together to create not only a much needed traffic relief system but also a structural masterpiece. The people of Kildare can be proud in the knowledge that they now have one of the roundest roundabouts in all of Ireland. I honestly can’t wait for my speech to end so I can get into my car and drive around it.”

Local Fianna Fáil TD Myles Claffey predicted the new roundabout will become one of Kildare’s top tourist attractions.

“Why would you bother driving all the way to the Cliffs of Moher or Giant’s Causeway when we have this beauty on our own doorstep? I predict people will come from far and wide to marvel at its roundiness.”

Unfortunately, head of Newbridge Town Council Tom Bracken confirmed that due to essential roadworks the roundabout will have to be dug up next Wednesday.