Calls For Kildare To Be Put Back Into Lockdown Coz It’s A Kip

There have been calls for Kildare to be put into lockdown again, not for any Covid-19 related reasons but because it’s a kip. An online petition calling for the lockdown currently has over 20,000 signatures and Brian Dempsey from Dublin who set it up explained why.

“We just feel the whole country would benefit from another Kildare lockdown. Nobody goes in and nobody comes out. That’s the way it should always be. Obviously I feel sorry for the people living there. Not because of the lockdown but because they live in a bleedin’ kip.”

Understandably the move has been met with outrage in Kildare. Councillor Barney Fitzmaurice told an emergency meeting of Kildare County Council last night that this was a huge insult and the people of Kildare would not stand for it.

“How dare they! We won’t be singled out again. We’ve done our bit and we’re doing no more. The people of this county have suffered enough and if anyone thinks for one minute we’re going to be locked up in this kip for another week they can think again.”