No Snoop, Nobody Said Just Eat, Now Would You Ever Just Fuck Off

Almost as much as Covid-19, there is something else most people had hoped the new year would signal the end of – that awful Snoop Dogg television commercial for Just Eat. Yet as we find ourselves heading towards the end of January 2021, he’s still there, still on our tv screens, still fucking rapping about chicken wings.

Formerly seen as the coolest man in hip hop, Snoop Dogg shot to fame in 1992 when he featured on Dr. Dre’s debut solo single and album. After a hugely successful solo career of his own, Snoop’s coolness credentials began to plummet after some questionable career moves, such as appearing in Wrestlemania XXIV and hosting a weekly cooking show on US television with Martha Stewart.

The Just Eat commercial seems to confirm there’s nothing Snoop Dogg won’t do for money. His manager Luther Schnizzle-Nizzle told us “Snoop don’t eat none of that shit. It’s all about the money, honey. If you got some bull-crap you want advertised then let the D with the O with the double G get the word out there.”

Mr. Schnizzle-Nizzle confirmed Snoop Dogg will soon be seen on posters in supermarkets across Offaly advertising Tullamore Sausages.