Jockeyless Horse Left Devastated After Believing He Had Won Big Cheltenham Race

A horse that crossed the finish line first at Cheltenham today has been left devastated after being told he did not win the famous Champions Hurdle race. Al Capony lost his jockey Derry O’Shea at the second fence but continued to run the full course, crossing the line 50 lengths ahead of Mister Winky in second place.

However, horses that lose their jockeys are immediately disqualified and Mister Winky was crowned winner of the Champions Hurdle with jockey Deirdre Walsh becoming the first woman ever to win the race. Al Capony was clearly distraught and angry after being told the news and said he was sure he had won.

“This is bullshit!” said Al. “Nobody ever said anything to me about having to carry your jockey over the finish line. If I knew that I would’ve went back for the little prick.”

Capony said he was back in his stable celebrating when he heard a commentator on the radio talking about the first woman to ever win the famous Champions Hurdle.

“I thought I was hearing things. I mean seriously. It’s just not fair. I won the race. I was so far ahead of Mister Winky I almost lapped the c**t. Mister Wonky more like.

“And what’s all this nonsense about a woman winning the race? Did she run around the course jumping over fences while having the arse whipped off her? Did she fuck. A horse won the race. At least get that bit right. Humans are such dickheads!”