Jobless Jedward: “We’d Busk But Music Isn’t Really Our Thing.”


Dublin twins John and Edward Grimes – otherwise known as Jedward – have admitted that they haven’t ‘worked’ in almost two years and have no idea what they’re meant to be doing anymore. The brothers achieved stardom on UK television show the X Factor back in 2009 but they’ve slipped out of the limelight in recent years and say work has completely dried up.

“Our phone doesn’t ring anymore.” said John. Or possibly Edward. “Nobody ever calls us. We ring Louis every day but there seems to be something wrong with his phone because it just keeps ringing out. Imagine how silly he’s going to feel when he realises he’s been missing our calls for the last two years.”

The boys said they’ve been trying to come up with ways of keeping themselves busy but so far without success.

“We’d busk but music isn’t really our thing.” said John. “I asked RTE if we could represent Ireland in the Eurovision Song Contest every year until one of us dies but they said no.”

“Oh my God, one of us is going to die?” said Edward. “I hope it’s not me.”

“O.M.G. Edward, everyone dies.” said John. “Then maybe we could call ourselves Dedward.”

“Oh my God, Dedward.” said Edward. “That rhymes with my name.”

“O.M.G. I know.” said John. “Come on Edward, it’s time for our bath. Last one in’s a stinky pants.”

We rang Louis Walsh (who answered his phone immediately) and asked him if he has any plans to work with Jedward in the future. He told us he’d rather drink a pint of his own piss.