Ireland Warns Russia: Provoke Us and We Will Not Hesitate To Frown at You

Leo Vlad

The Irish government has sent a chilling warning to their Russian counterparts as relations between the two countries continue to deteriorate. The spat began when Taoiseach Leo Varadker had a Russian diplomat expelled from Ireland in a show of solidarity with Britain after Theresa May accused Moscow of being behind the poisoning of former spy Sergei Skripal.

Now the Russian administration is threatening to retaliate against any country expelling it’s diplomats but Irish government officials have today issued a statement saying they will not hesitate to give the order to start frowning if provoked.

The last time Ireland launched a frowning at another country was in 2004 when Poland gave us nil points in the Eurovision Song Contest even though we had just taken in tens of thousands of their citizens. The UN has pleaded with the Irish government to show restraint and here at home an anti-frowning march has already been organised for tomorrow in Dublin by the United Left Anti-Austerity People Against Profit Say No To Everything Alliance Party.

So what action could the Irish government take if provoked by Russia? We asked international relations expert John Reynolds what might happen in the coming days.

“It depends on how serious things get. The government has a lot more than just frowning at its disposal. If they feel it’s warranted they could escalate things by wagging their fingers disapprovingly at the Russians. Nobody wants that of course but it could well happen if things get out of hand. War is hell after all. If the situation were to deteriorate even further and they felt they had exhausted all other options, the Irish government could call an emergency meeting of the war cabinet who would then, as a last resort, gather on the roof of Dáil Eireann and shake their fists furiously in the direction of Moscow.”

Meanwhile Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov was asked this morning how he felt about the threats to his country coming from Ireland. He replied “What’s Ireland?”