Ireland Warns Russia: Provoke Us and We Will Not Hesitate To Frown at You

Leo Vlad

The Irish government has sent a chilling warning to Russia as relations between the two countries continue to deteriorate. Last month Taoiseach Leo Varadker had a Russian diplomat expelled from Ireland in a show of solidarity with Britain after Theresa May accused Moscow of being behind the poisoning of former spy Sergei Skripal. Now the Russian administration is threatening to retaliate against any country expelling it’s diplomats but Irish government officials have today issued a statement saying the Kremlin can go and shite.

The last time Ireland launched a frowning at another country was in 2004 when Poland shockingly gave us nil points in the Eurovision Song Contest even though we had just taken in 12 million of their citizens. An anti-frowning march has already been organised by the United Left Anti-Austerity People Against Profit Say No To Water Charges Alliance Party and is planned for tomorrow along Dublin’s O’Connell Street.

So what action could the Irish government take if provoked by Russia? We asked international relations expert John Reynolds what might happen in the coming days.

“It depends on how serious things get. The government have a lot more than just frowning at their disposal. If they feel it’s warranted they could escalate things by wagging their fingers disapprovingly at the Russians. Nobody wants that of course but it could well happen if things get out of hand. War is hell after all. If the situation were to deteriorate even further and they felt they had exhausted all other options, the Irish government could call an emergency meeting of the war cabinet who would then all gather on the roof of Dáil Eireann and shake their fists furiously in the direction of Moscow.”

Fucking hell!! Meanwhile Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov was asked how he felt about the threats to his country coming from Ireland. He replied “What’s Ireland?”