Local Man Hoping Healthy Salad Makes Up For 30 Cans Drank & 60 Fags Smoked At Weekend

A local man is hoping that having a healthy salad for his lunch will make up for the 30 cans of beer he drank at the weekend. 54 year-old Mick Galvin from Tullamore admits he’s still feeling badly hungover but says he’s confident that eating a plate of lettuce will cancel out all the horrific things he did to his body over the weekend.

“This will sort me out.” he told us. “I kinda did the dog on it from Friday evening until late last night. I reckon I had about 30 cans and I tend to chain smoke when I’m drinking too so that’s not great I suppose. But I’m one of those health conscious types who likes to look after himself so I’m having a green salad today. You can’t be too careful at my age you know. Those heart palpitations and terrible chest pains I’ve been having lately won’t go away by themselves.”

Mick was having lunch at his local cafe and noticed the man at the next table tucking into a mixed grill.

“Look at that.” he said tutting. “I mean for God’s sake, you have to think of your health. Some people just don’t stop and think about what they’re doing to their bodies. He might as well get a shovel now and start digging his own grave.”

Mick said he expects to be fully recovered in a day or two and ready to go at it hard again next weekend.