Local Man Hoping Healthy Salad Makes Up For 30 Pints Drank At Weekend


A local man is hoping that having a healthy salad for his lunch will make up for the 30 pints he drank at the weekend. 54 year-old builder Kevin Thomas admits he’s still feeling badly hungover but says he’s confident that eating a plate of lettuce will cancel out all the horrific things he did to his body over the weekend.

“Ah yeah, this will sort me out.” he told us. “I kinda did the dog on it from the minute I finished work on Friday until closing time last night. I reckon I had about 30 pints and I tend to chain smoke when I’m drinking too so that’s not great I suppose. But I’m one of those health conscious types who likes to look after himself so I’m having the green salad today. You can’t be too careful at my age you know. Those heart palpitations and terrible chest pains I’ve been getting lately won’t go away by themselves.”

Kevin was having lunch at his local deli in Tullamore and couldn’t help noticing the guy at the next table tucking into a burger and chips.

“My God would you look at that.” he said tutting and shaking his head. “Some people just don’t stop and think about what they’re doing to their bodies. You might as well get a shovel now pal and start digging your own grave.”

Kevin told us he expects to be feeling right as rain in a day or two, just in time to go on the lash again next weekend.