Head Of Lettuce In Line To Become New British Prime Minister

A head of lettuce is in line to replace Liz Truss as Prime Minister of Britain.

Conservative party members are set to remove Truss in a damage limitations exercise because they fear she won’t last much longer as Prime Minister, while a head of lettuce has been known to stay fresh and crispy for more than two weeks.

In a hilarious move that could only happen in the world’s most ridiculous country, Truss sacked her Chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng because he did what she told him to do and it turned out to be mental.

After her so-called mini-budget unleashed chaos on Britain’s economy and today’s sacking of Kwarteng, Tory party members have finally had enough and are set to install the lettuce as Prime Minister over the coming days.

Meanwhile The Wolfe Tones classic belter of a tune The Celtic Symphony is set to become the UK’s number one when the new chart comes out this Sunday. Lol!