“I’m So Sick Of Football” Says Woman Apparently Incapable Of Changing Channel


A Dublin woman has told how she is sick to death of all the football on television after just 4 days of the World Cup in Russia. Yvonne Breslin from Cabra has 72 TV channels and although only 3 of them are showing the football she says that’s too many.

“I pay my licence fee and I don’t like football so why is there football on?” she asked angrily. “RTE are a disgrace. Why should I pay for other people to watch football? I hate football.”

Yvonne’s good friend Kevin Daly agrees and said it’s impossible to avoid seeing football on television these days.

“When I’m flicking through my channels, why should I have to see football on some of those channels before moving onto the next channel? It happened twice yesterday and it’s just not good enough. Why should I pay my license fee and then be forced to see some football? RTE are a disgrace.”

Professor John McIntyre is an expert in human psychology and says tensions often rise in households during big sporting occasions like the World Cup.

“We studied the behaviour of over a hundred typical Irish families and we found very definitive differences in personality between people who like football and those who don’t.

“For example the World Cup is on every 4 years and people who don’t like football tend to spend the entire month that it’s on complaining about it. However soap operas are on every single day all year round and people who don’t like those simply don’t watch them. We can therefore conclude with absolute certainty that people who don’t like football are frankly moaning little whinge-bags who would rather spend their time complaining about something they don’t like than watching something they do like and just shutting the fuck up.”