Harry: “I Want To Be A Prince Again – Real Life Is Shit!”

A tearful Prince Harry broke down on live television last night during an emotional interview when he seemed to admit that his decision to step away from his role as a senior royal was a terrible mistake.

Harry was talking to Gabby Logan about his new life in Canada where he and his wife Meghan Markle are trying to live as regular people but things are clearly not going as he expected.

“A couple of days ago I was out grocery shopping when a total stranger called me a ginger twat and laughed. For no reason! Last year I would’ve just had him shot but I can’t do that anymore. I feel like Superman when he lost his powers in the movie Superman 2. He also gave them up to be with a woman. I miss my superpowers.”

Back in Britain Prince William said he’s not surprised his brother is having second thoughts and told BBC News he saw this day coming.

“I actually bet him twenty grand he wouldn’t last six months in the real world and here we are, only a few weeks into it and he’s crying to come home just because someone called him a ginger twat. Come off it Harry! I’ve called you that every day since you was born. More like he can’t handle not having servants to dress him and wipe his arse every morning. I know I couldn’t. Royalty should not be wiping their own arses. Just come home Harry, this is where you belong. And bring my twenty grand you ginger twat.”