Prince Harry “I Killed Bin Laden”

Prince Harry of England, or whatever the hell the Brits call him now, has claimed that he was the one who killed terrorist leader Osama bin Laden.

Harry makes the claim in his controversial new book Spare, where he describes what happened in detail.

“I killed Osama bin Laden. It was me, not the American navy seals. They’re lying. I choked him with my bare hands. I looked into his eyes as he took his last breath and said to him “This is for 9/11 you bastard.”

Harry also claims to have killed 25 Taliban members during a tour of duty in Afghanistan in 2010.

“I was a gunner in an Apache attack helicopter. We came under intense enemy fire and the helicopter exploded into a ball of flames but I somehow survived. I ejected just in time. When I landed on the ground I realised I had no parachute. I had miraculously landed on my feet and didn’t break any bones or get injured or anything.”

Harry says he was the only survivor and got into a gun battle the minute he landed.

“Everyone else was killed. Then I saw them. 25 bad guys about to burn down a school full of children. I knew what I had to do. I killed them all and rescued the children. Some people say I’m a hero but you know what? Yeah I suppose I am.”

Reports from the time show no records of any helicopters coming under enemy fire or 25 Taliban members being killed on the same day but Harry says there’s a good reason for that.

“It’s classified information. They don’t release that kind of stuff to the public. Realistically, I could make up any old crap from my soldier days and if anyone tries to deny it, I just say it’s classified. I wouldn’t do that of course. I’m just saying I could. I didn’t though. But I could. But I didn’t.”

Prince Harry’s new book Spare is available in all good book stores. You’ll find it under fantasy and fiction.