A local man who went on a bender yesterday and is by his own admission “in bits” today has Googled the words ‘hangover cure’ on the off-chance one was discovered today. 42 year-old Brian Thomas somehow made it into work but says he’ll probably be running to the toilet every hour to puke.
“I know there was no cure for a hangover up to yesterday coz I probably would’ve heard about it but maybe they found one this morning and it’s all over the news. Fingers crossed. Come on Google help me out. I’m dying here!”
Research shows that the most googled phrase on Mondays in Ireland is ‘Hangover cure’ followed closely by ‘Am I drinking too much’ and ‘How the hell did I get home last night?’ At all other times of the week it’s just mainly porn. So did Brian have any luck with his search?
“No. Just loads of unfunny gobshites saying the best cure for a hangover is don’t drink. Hilarious! It’s just not fair. All the money and effort they put into finding a cure for other illnesses yet you never hear anything about hangover research. It affects over half the country and it’s a real sickness. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go and puke my ring up.”
Brian told us he’s praying they find a cure in the next few days because his friend’s cousin’s girlfriend’s son is getting his First Holy Communion on Sunday so next week’s hangover is sure to be an absolute hum dinger.