Mary-Lou Tells Arlene Foster To Stop Pulling Numbers Out Of Her Hairy Protestant Arse

Mary-Lou McDonald has told the First Minister of Northern Ireland Arlene Foster to stop pulling numbers out of her hairy Protestant arse. The Sinn Féin leader was responding to Foster’s comments after she told the Belfast Telegraph that the Unionist people of Northern Ireland will never be outnumbered by Nationalists, even though all predictions and forecasts show that will almost certainly happen within the next 10 years. She also said if there is a United Ireland in her lifetime she will emigrate.

“Emigrate to where exactly?” said McDonald. “Is she going to go across the water and move in with Boris? Why would you leave your hometown, your family and friends and the place you grew up in and love just because there’s a tri-colour flying over Belfast City Hall? That clearly will happen in her lifetime by the way but that’s another matter. Cop yourself on Arlene, face facts and stop pulling numbers out of your hairy Protestant arse. You will be outnumbered and I’ll be your Taoiseach.”

As expected, the Unionist leader responded angrily and hit back with a few digs of her own.

“I won’t be spoken to like that. Especially by a Jackeen tramp like her. The Protestant women of Ulster do not have hairy arses. I think you’ll find that’s a Fenian thing.”

Miss Foster then offered to show members of the press her arse to prove it’s not hairy. The offer was declined unanimously.