Grealish Admits He Was Pissed When He Signed New Aston Villa Contract


Footballer Jack Grealish has admitted that he was pissed drunk when he signed his new contract extension with Aston Villa. Despite being linked to several big clubs in England and abroad, the former Irish and current English international signed a new five-year deal to extend his participation in relegation battles until 2025. Grealish was asked during a press conference yesterday what the hell he was thinking.

“I wasn’t thinking, I was shitfaced! The chairman called me into his office for a chat and to wish me luck in what he called my bright future shining on the world stage playing Champions League football. Last thing I remember was him opening a bottle of whisky. I woke up on the floor the next morning with my head absolutely pounding and a new 5-year contract in my hand. Cheeky cunt stitched me up!”

Grealish was asked if it’s any consolation that he will probably get to spend his entire career playing for the club he supported as a boy and who knows, maybe go on a couple of domestic cup runs.

“Oh yeah it’s great.” he said sarcastically. “I’d much rather test myself against Burton Albion than Bayern Munich. It’s what every kid dreams of. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go and bang my head against a wall repeatedly while thinking about what might have been.