There were scenes of celebration across Britain today after a woman went to a hospital to have a baby and then had the baby. American actress Meghan Markle who is married to the ginger lad out of Britain’s royal family gave birth to a baby boy earlier today.
Within minutes of the news breaking Britain went mental. Sky News has been reporting on the story non-stop ever since and said that all other news including Brexit and the local election results can fuck off. BBC royal correspondent Nicholas Witchell was so overcome with joy that he couldn’t handle it and jumped off a bridge to his death.
Thousands of people began to gather outside Buckingham Palace waving union jacks hoping to get a glimpse of the happy couple and the new baby even though they’re not there.
Doris Winterbottom made the long trek from her home in Yorkshire and told reporters she intends to stand there for a few months.
“I love the royal family.” she said. “I really love them. Especially the children. I have children of my own but I couldn’t give a shit about them. As long as the royal children are happy that’s all that matters to me and all true Brits.”
Meanwhile the Queen is said to be delighted with the news but told well wishers there’s no point in telling her husband Prince Philip who has apparently completely lost his marbles at this stage and currently thinks he’s a pigeon.