Employers Encouraged To Hire People Based On Genitalia Rather Than Suitability

The government has said they intend to make diversity in the workplace a key issue for all employers in the country and are encouraging bosses to take into consideration a person’s genitalia when deciding whether or not to hire them.

Minister for Equality and Integration Paddy Gorman said the days of hiring the candidate best qualified and best suited to the job are over and people should now be hired based on skin colour, religion and whether or not they possess a pair of balls.

“If you don’t have staff who identify as anything other than the traditional and frankly outdated genders of male and female, it’s time to ask yourself ‘Am I a bad employer? Am I a bad person?’ The answer of course is yes. You’re terrible.”

Mr Gorman said the inequality in certain professions puts our country to shame and the practice of hiring men only will soon be outlawed.

“I’m tired driving past building sites for example and seeing nothing but men. Where are the women? Where are the non-binarys? Where are the one-legged transgender Asian bisexual vegan muslim women with mental health issues?”

The Minister also said it’s not just the construction industry that needs to take a long hard look at itself.

“It has been brought to my attention that no airline has ever hired a member of the blind community to pilot one of their aircraft. We will be the first country to rectify this shameful situation. Anti-blind bigotry has no place anywhere in society and that includes the airline industry. I’m looking at you Ryanair and Aer Lingus. Do you hear me Mr O’Leary? Get with the times, people.”