Scientists at the Institute of Research have claimed that all food is bad for you. Dr. Philip McIntyre carried out the study and he said the results are conclusive.
“We examined the lifestyle and habits of every single person who died in Ireland last year to see if there was one common denominator that linked them all. There was. They were all regular eaters of food. And now they’re all dead!”
These latest findings are sure to cause concern among the more health conscious types so we asked Dr. McIntyre what he believes we should be eating to maintain a healthy diet and more importantly what we should avoid.
“People really need to cut meat out of their diets as well as dairy, poultry, seafood, sugar, salt, non-organic vegetables, organic vegetables, carbonhydrates, vitamins, minerals and water. Basically eat and drink nothing and you’ll be fine. I mean you’ll die after a month or so but at least you’ll die healthy and that’s all that matters.”
Tomorrow: Exercise, is it bad for you? Yes it is.