Fair City Producers Hope New Characters Will Make Show More Realistic


Producers of Dublin based soap opera Fair City are to introduce new characters in a bid to make the show more realistic. The popular drama has been criticised recently for portraying a Dublin suburb that’s full of Dubliners and RTE have admitted the show needs to get with the times.

“The Dublin reflected in Fair City does not exist anymore and it’s time for some major changes.” said producer Niall Breslin. “Polish food shops, Asian taxi drivers, African migrant gangs terrorising locals. These people deserve a voice and we intend to give it to them.”

Niall said the biggest change will be the introduction of a lot more culchies to the show, an ethnic group that has been largely ignored since Fair City began even though they watch it in huge numbers. We asked him what kind of storylines the new culchie characters will be involved in.

“They’ll be saying hello to everyone they pass on the street even though they don’t know them and shifting their cousins in Copper Face Jacks. Nobody will be able to say Fair City doesn’t reflect real life ever again.”

The new look and far more realistic Fair City kicks off next month when an African gang based in North Dublin takes public transport to Carrigstown where they attack and rob random strangers. The spineless Irish media however fail to report details of the incident because they’re terrified of being called racists by fucking idiots for reporting facts.