A 19-year-old girl has been left traumatised after posting a status update on Facebook that she thought was hilarious but her friends thought was shite. Emma Bracken is recovering at the Midland Regional Hospital in Tullamore after suffering serious injuries to her ego when only two friends liked her post about Donald Trump.
“It was really funny too.” said Emma. “I called him a wanker and everything. What’s not to like about that?”
Recent statistics show that around 5% of all admissions to Ireland’s Accident and Emergency units are victims of Facebook Trauma and that number is rising steadily. Doctor Patrick Byrne is a Consultant Neurologist at Dublin’s Beaumont Hospital and he says it’s becoming a national epidemic.
“Many victims have suffered a lack of likes or had a friend request ignored while others have sent drunken private messages to people they secretly fancy. We’re also seeing an increase in physical injuries which tend to happen in the morning time when people go scrambling for their phones after they wake up and suddenly remember what they posted the night before. No matter what type of Facebook Trauma a person has suffered, all victims tend to have one thing in common – they’ve all made a total cunt of themselves.”
Meanwhile back in Tullamore Hospital Emma Bracken finally plucked up the courage to log back into Facebook. She posted an emotional and heartfelt status update describing what she’s been through over the last few days and explaining to her friends how the trauma of being ignored on Facebook can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation. Sadly it got no likes.