Local Man Pretty Sure There Are No Face-Holes Above The Mouth

A local man who wears his mask below his nose has claimed that he is doing nothing wrong because there are no face-holes above the mouth. Brian O’Connor from Tullamore said he sometimes notices people giving him dirty looks when he’s out shopping and thinks it’s probably down to how he wears his mask.

“People are overreacting. I google stuff and read things on the internet so I know what I’m talking about. Do some research people and stop listening to mainstream media. There are no holes in your face above your mouth. The government are lying to you.”

We told Brian that expulsions from the nose can spread organisms such as the novel coronavirus and a sneeze can send an explosion of virus-containing droplets at nearly a hundred miles an hour as far as 27 feet. However he was having none of it.

“Don’t come at me with all your fancy medical terms. Do I look like a doctor? As if the ordinary man on the street has ever heard of words like droplets and nose. What a load of bull. Everyone knows you sneeze out of your arse anyway.”