A dog that got a little over-excited when his owner came home from work and picked him up yesterday accidentally squirted out some piss that went all over the owner’s shirt. Jack the Pug was left embarrassed and ashamed by the incident but says it’s not the first time that it’s happened.
“It seems to come out when I get excited and I’ve absolutely no control over it. It really is dreadfully embarrassing. I’ve gone to see several vets about this but nothing seems to work. If I had a penny for everyone I’ve accidentally pissed all over believe me I’d be one very rich dog by now.”
Jack says there have been many incidents over the years with varying degrees of embarrassment.
“Occasionally the person won’t notice which is great. The worst one has to be the time that dog-loving priest picked me up one day when we were out walking in the park. He was laughing and he lifted me up really high. I could only watch on in horror as I pissed straight into his open mouth. I’ll never forget the look on his face. He made a kind of gargling noise and then just dropped me. I’ve had a slight limp ever since.”
Jack says it’s also the reason he’s still single.
“I’m single and I’m a virgin. Yep, never even been with a bitch. Anytime I get near one and it looks like we’re about to get funky I end up pissing all over her. She runs away in disgust of course and I never see her again. This thing really is ruining my life.”
If any of our dog readers are affected by this story please call the piss helpline on (01) 55529499555944955