“Ireland’s Eurovision Song Is Awful” Says Man Responsible For Jedward


Louis Walsh has claimed in an interview that Ireland’s Eurovision Song Contest entry for this year is awful and hasn’t a chance in hell of winning. The 66 year-old entertainment manager certainly knows a thing or two about awful music having been responsible for producing an endless barrage of unbearable shit for as long as anyone can remember.

Ireland was renowned throughout the World for it’s music until Louis came along and single-handedly destroyed our reputation with one terrible boy band after another. The icing on the shit-cake was Jedward whose act comprised mainly of jumping up and down and repeatedly doing scissors kicks for some fucking reason.

Despite this Louis still seems to think his opinion on music is something we should take seriously.

“It’s a nothing song. It’s crap.” he said of this year’s Irish entry. “What we need is five guys singing a ballad. There should be a gay one and an ugly one like in all my bands. Then halfway through the song they all stand up off their stools together for the key change and the crowd goes wild. Trust me it never fails. I’ve been getting away with the same old shit for years. The young ones love it and I’m fecking loaded!”

That may work for Louis Walsh’s boybands but the Eurovision Song Contest has become more and more unpredictable in recent years with bookies finding it difficult to predict the winner since public voting was introduced. Indeed last year’s winning song was a woman half singing and half making chicken noises. It’s a truly terrible song and the fact that it won simply proves that people who vote in the Eurovision Song Contest really are dreadful bastards.