Erik Ten Hag Resigns As Manchester United Manager

Erik Ten Hag sensationally quit as Manchester United manager just minutes after they lost their Premier League opener against Brighton at Old Trafford today.

United were awful as clinical Brighton brushed them aside in a pulsating game that the visitors eventually won 2-1.

Ten Hag was asked for his reaction to the match live on Sky Sports as he left the pitch.

“It seems I’ve made a terrible mistake. These players are worse than useless. McTominay is a donkey and Fred wouldn’t get into my 9 year-old son’s team. Frenkie de Jong doesn’t want to come here and Ronaldo wants to leave. Well I’m leaving first. Goodbye!”

Ten Hag then walked straight out of Old Trafford without saying goodbye to his players and jumped on the no.7 bus to Manchester Airport.

We asked Ajax chairman Frank Eijken if he will give Ten Hag his old job back. He told us “No. He can fuck off.”