Varadakar Vows To Eradicate The Poor If Re-elected As Taoiseach


Leo Varadkar has said he will eradicate poor people if he is re-elected as Taoiseach of the country. Mr. Varadkar was responding to questions on the campaign trail regarding homelessness and poverty and said he sees no reason why both issues can’t be solved within the next few years.

“If you don’t have poor people you don’t have poverty. I’m also reliably informed that it’s only poor people who are homeless so that’s two of the country’s biggest problems being caused by the same group of people. It therefore goes without saying that if we eradicate the poor we bring an end to both homelessness and poverty in this country and maybe then everyone will stop moaning about it once and for all.”

Predictably Mr. Varadkar’s comments were met with surprise by those present but the Taoiseach was in defiant mood.

“Ireland was booming under my government. The amount of brand new beemers and mercs around where I live proves that and if these other people think they’re going to spoil things for the rest of us by being all poor and sad they’re very much mistaken.”

The Taoiseach didn’t explain how he intends to get rid of the poor but is said to be considering a straight swap with the Nigerian government for another 10,000 taxi drivers.