A couple from England got a rude awakening when they recently spent a week on the Costa Del Sol in southern Spain. Doris and George Winterbottom from Huntington-Upon-Themley in Hertfordshire don’t normally go abroad but received the holiday as a present from their children. George noticed things weren’t quite to his liking almost immediately.
“I couldn’t believe it. Nothing but bloody foreigners everywhere talking foreign. What’s that all about?”
George’s wife Doris also noticed things were not quite the same as they are back home.
“They use that funny money over there. What’s wrong with the British pound? I mean seriously, how are we supposed to know how much things cost in proper money when everything’s in bloody Euros? It’s ridiculous.”
Things got off to a bad start when the couple went to Stansted Airport in London to catch their flight.
“I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw our plane.” said George. “They’d only gone and booked us onto a Ryanair flight. That’s bloody Irish innit? What’s wrong with British Airways? Then when we got on I couldn’t understand a word the stewardess was saying. Russian or Polish she was. One of that lot. I thought they’d all be Paddies. What’s that all about?”
So what about the holiday itself? Did George and Doris enjoy their week in sunny Spain or was it a total disaster?
“The weather was alright I suppose.” said Doris reluctantly. “And we found a proper English pub near the hotel where they showed Eastenders and served egg and chips so at least we didn’t have to eat any of that foreign rubbish. We didn’t drink there though ‘coz we found another English pub where our two drinks came to 5 cent cheaper just 12 miles up the road.”
So after all that does George ever see himself returning to Spain?
“Actually, if they replaced all that horrible foreign food with proper English food and opened more English pubs with bingo and quiz nights it could be a really nice place. Nobody eats that tapas rubbish except foreigners so there’s no need for it in Spain? Get your roast beef and your yorkshire puds on your menus and maybe we’ll consider coming back. And get rid of that bloody foreign money. We’re British and the money we spend should have a picture of the Queen on it, not some bloody foreigner. Bloody foreigners!”