Another Massive World Cup Shock As Plucky England Beat Tunisia


Russia 2018 is proving to be a World Cup of shock results and last night it happened again in the Volgograd Arena as serial underachievers England stormed to a surprise 2-1 victory over Tunisia.

England haven’t won a trophy in 52 years and that miserable run looked set to continue until Harry Kane headed home a late winning goal deep into injury time. English fans believe their team’s giant killing exploits in Russia last night has injected new confidence into their players. Tunisian manager Nabil MaĆ¢loul on the other hand said his players are embarrassed with last night’s result and that losing to what he called “inferior opposition” is hard to take.

“We underestimated them.” he admitted at the post match press conference. “These so-called weaker teams have been pulling off shock results since the tournament began so we should’ve seen this coming. There can be no excuses for losing what should’ve been our easiest game of the group. I mean seriously, if we can’t beat England we’re fucked!”

Meanwhile back in England the media has gone into overdrive and decided that England will now definitely win the World Cup. Today’s front page headline in The Sun reads “Football’s Coming Home” while The Mirror have printed a map of the route the open-top bus will take “when our boys bring the World Cup home.”

Former Irish international Roy Keane however took a different view on Match of the Day last night and told host Gary Lineker he was getting carried away.

“I’m delighted you won Gary.” said the controversial Cork man. “It’s going to make it even more hilarious when it all comes crashing down around your massive ears now that you actually think you’re going to win the World Cup just because you managed to beat a team of Tunisian goat herders.”