Local Man Taking A Break From Dry January To Get Pissed Coz It’s Saturday

A local man has decided to take a break from ‘Dry January’ to get pissed at home because it’s Saturday. 54 year-old Brian Delaney from Tullamore said he believes he deserves it after not drinking for a whole week.

“I went at it hard over Christmas so I said I was doing Dry January this year and thankfully I’ve stuck to it. I didn’t think I would but I’ve surprised myself by not having a drop all week. That’s what you call will power. Obviously I’m having a few now but that’s because it’s Saturday and Saturdays don’t count. I mean come on, what kind of weirdo doesn’t go to bed hammered on a Saturday night?”

Brian said he’ll be back on the wagon on Monday and has every confidence he’ll complete Dry January for the first time in his life.

“Yeah I’ve never tried to do it before but it’s time I started taking care of myself a bit more. Obviously I’ll have a few tomorrow because it’s Sunday. I mean everyone needs a cure, right? A few cans and a bottle of wine usually sees me right. And of course I had a bit of a session last night to celebrate a week off the drink but Friday is officially the start of the weekend so that doesn’t count either. Hopefully I can keep it up and by the end of the month I’ll be a new man. Ready to have a few drinks again in February. Let’s face it, I will have earned it.”