Outrage In Paris After Drunk Liverpool Fans Destroy The Eiffel Tower

There is a palpable sense of outrage and anger in the French capital today after drunken Liverpool fans destroyed the city’s beloved Eiffel Tower.

Eyewitnesses say a small group of Liverpool fans with tickets were queuing at the entrance to the historic monument when suddenly hundreds more without tickets began pushing forward and barged their way in.

We spoke to one Liverpool fan who was at the scene but wishes to remain anonymous and asked him what happened.

“It wasn’t our fault. It was someone else’s. The French coppers probably. Or maybe the local people. Or possibly Muslims. I’m not sure exactly but it was definitely someone else’s fault and once again we’re the innocent victims. That’s all I have to say.”

Mayor of Paris Philippe Ledoux has called for Liverpool to be banned from all European competitions indefinitely.

“Once again Liverpool fans have shown they can’t go anywhere and act civilised. I would personally go to Liverpool and destroy something they love if there was anything worth destroying in that shithole but there isn’t. Let’s kick them out of all European competitions again only this time don’t let them back in. Bin dipping cunts.”

When asked about the incident today, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson told reporters “It’s just another example of Europeans not understanding British culture. We like to party and get a bit lively so to speak. I know I do. Lol.”