Putin Tells Russians Everything Is Going To Plan On Day 33 Of His 3-Day War

Vladimir Putin has told the Russian people that everything is going to plan on day 33 of his invasion of Ukraine which he thought would take 3 days.

Speaking to the nation on state controlled TV today, Putin told viewers that Russian armed forces have brought peace and happiness to Ukraine and said he’s confident he could be in the running for this year’s Nobel Peace Prize.

“My fellow Russians, our special military action in Ukraine is going exactly to plan. So far we have destroyed 200 of the enemies 60 drones and over 150% of their tanks. The people there love us, especially me, and soon we will liberate them from their government who are Nazis. Apart from the President I guess coz he’s Jewish.”

Meanwhile in Washington, President Biden has been back tracking on comments he made at the weekend and said he did not call for regime change in Russia when he called for regime change in Russia.

Biden told reporters “When I said Putin cannot remain in power I clearly meant something else entirely. Stop quoting me using the exact words I said. But enough about that nonsense. Did you guys see Will Smith punch Chris Rock? Oh my God! Now that’s news worth talking about.”