Culchie In Dublin Saying Hello To Everyone He Passes


A culchie who is apparently still on the loose somewhere in Dublin is reportedly going around saying hello to everyone he sees. Joseph Egan from Tullamore in Co. Offaly is believed to have walked from Heuston Station to the city centre this morning and is said to have engaged in acts of nodding, winking and generally greeting complete strangers along the way.

Darren O’Neill from Finglas was one of Egan’s first victims.

“I’m walking past this guy when suddenly out of nowhere he says ‘Morning!’ I’m like, what the fuck? I’ve never met him in my life. Weirdo alert! Luckily my survival instincts kicked in and I just kept walking really fast and didn’t acknowledge him in any way.”

Mags Mooney from Summerhill was on her way to her Zumba class when without warning or provocation Egan, who was walking in the opposite direction, said “Howaya?” as he passed her.

I couldn’t believe it.” said Mags. “I told him I’d call the Guards if he didn’t get the fuck away from me. He must’ve thought I was joking ‘coz he just laughed and said “Grand day isn’t it?” Things are getting bad when a girl can’t even walk down the street without some bogger saying hello. You hear about these things on the news but you never think it could happen to you.”

Dubliners who encounter culchies on the streets of the capital are being advised to avoid eye contact and not to engage in friendly conversation as this may be misinterpreted as an invitation to follow you home for tea.