“It’s A No From Me. That Was Awful.” Simon Cowell Tells His Plastic Surgeon

Simon Cowell has finally given his verdict on the performance of his plastic surgeon after going under the knife and it’s not good. The pop mogul made his first public appearance in months recently looking like a badly made waxwork of himself.

“It’s like I’m trying to smile but my eyes won’t let me.” said Cowell. “I mean I actually look like a cartoon drawing of myself where everything has been exaggerated. I’m sorry but that was just awful. It’s a No from me.”

The surgeon in question Dr. Henrick Von Gutentag explained that when he realised he had made the mouth too happy he decided to make the eyes sad to balance things out but Cowell was having none of it.

“No, sorry you’re not what we’re looking for. It’s because of you that I have to spend the rest of my life looking like a Thunderbird puppet. Now piss off you talentless twat.”