Education Minister Says Leaving Cert English Results Could Of Been Gooder

Minister for Education Norma Foley said today that in general, Leaving Cert results have been excellent all over the country but added that initial indications suggest English results could of been gooder. Leaving cert students nationwide received their grades this morning and the Minister congratulated them in a statement issued on the official government website.

“I’m proud of all are young people today. Congratulations. You done good. Except in the English which could of been gooder. I hope you all got the results and get in the college. Or the job. Taughts and prayers.”

There are signs that the standard of English has declined dramatically and experts are blaming social media where most people seem to have the spelling and grammar ability of a backwards 8 year-old.

SOME STUDENTS EVEN WROTE ALL THEIR ANSWERS IN BLOCK CAPITALS BECAUSE THAT’S HOW THEY TYPE WHEN ARGUING WITH OTHER MORONS ONLINE.

Many also finished their sentences with lol instead of a full stop.

On a more positive note, results have improved significantly in most subjects, especially science and maths. Taoiseach Miche├íl Martin told students this morning it’s a testament to all the hard work they put in during a very difficult time.

“The overall results are incredible when you consider the havoc and disruption this pandemic has caused to your education. Now go and be the best you can and build the life you’ve always dreamed of by getting on the first flight out of here.”