Conspiracy Theorist News Headlines: No New Cases & No Deaths Coz There’s No Virus

There was good news for conspiracy theorists today as no deaths and no new cases of Covid-19 were recorded in Ireland just like every other day. That’s because there’s no virus as it’s just a big scam created by all the governments of the world that were in power last year when this all began because they wanted to murder everyone on the planet.

In all countries where those governments have since been replaced, the opposition parties who took over have decided they also would like to become mass murderers and have continued encouraging everyone to get vaccinated.

As everyone knows, all the governments of the world, even sworn enemies who hate each other, got together one day and agreed to pretend there’s a very bad virus going around. It’s not known which country came up with the idea but all the other countries agreed that it was a great idea and decided to play along and watch their economies collapse.

In other news 5G causes cancer and was created by the illuminati who are all Jews. Pulling down 5G masts and wearing a tinfoil hat is the only known way of preventing these zionist lizard-people from reading your thoughts and taking over the world.

Also the moon landings were fake, the Earth is flat, Bush did 9/11 and Hitler is alive and well and running a successful landscaping business in Argentina.

We’ll have more news for mental people next week.