Link Discovered Between Believing 5G Conspiracy Theories And Being Really Thick

Researchers in the UK have discovered a link between believing 5G conspiracy theories and being really thick. Dr. John Schneider from the London Institute for Scientific Research said his team studied hundreds of people who regulary post 5G conspiracy bollocks on social media and the results are very revealing.

“We studied the behaviour of people from all over the world who believe 5G causes everything from cancer to the coronavirus. Although from various different backgrounds and cultures, we discovered that there is one particular personality trait that everyone who believes 5G conspiracy theories has in common. They’re all incredibly thick.”

Radio waves below the visible spectrum of light (where 5g falls) are non-ionizing radiation and therefore completely harmless to humans. This is basic science for 12 year-olds and has been proven time and time again yet literally millions of fully grown adults worldwide believe 5G is dangerous because they read it somewhere on the internet. Dr. Schneider says it takes a certain type of person to be taken in by the 5G conspiracy theories.

“Generally speaking these are the same people who believe the moon landings were fake, the Earth is flat and there is a secret cure for cancer. They also tend to post everything in capital letters and have the spelling ability of a backwards 8 year-old. Basically thick as shit, every last one of them.”