Easter Eggs To Be Renamed ‘Non-Denominational Chocolate Spheres’

Irish government officials have confirmed that from next year onwards Easter Eggs will be renamed non-denominational chocolate spheres. The move is seen as a way of including non Christians in Irish society so they don’t feel ‘left out’.

Government spokesman Brian Delaney told us “How would you feel if you were a Muslim for example and you were being bombarded with Christian imagery this weekend? You can’t get away from Easter Eggs and Easter holiday reminders no matter what you do and it’s not right. We now live in a multicultural society and it’s time we stopped excluding non Christians. And don’t forget the word Eggs may cause offence to Vegans so it is clearly time to remove these outdated relics of an intolerant past from Irish society.”

Mr Delaney also confirmed Christmas Trees will no longer be called Christmas Trees and will from this year onwards be known as Holiday Trees.

“Again it’s a simple matter of creating a more inclusive society and the best way to do that is to ban stuff and be offended by everything. So Happy holidays everyone! I’m off to buy a chocolate sphere for my non-denominational life partner. This is the new Ireland so I suggest you get used to it.”