Easter Eggs To Be Renamed Non-Denominational Chocolate Spheres


Irish government officials have confirmed that from next year onwards Easter Eggs will be renamed non-denominational chocolate spheres. The move is seen as a way of including non Christians in Irish society so they don’t feel ‘left out’.

Government spokesman Brian Delaney said “How would you feel if you were a Muslim for example and you were being bombarded with Christian imagery everywhere you went this weekend? You can’t get away from Easter Eggs and Easter holiday reminders no matter where you go and it’s just not on. We now live in a multicultural society and it’s time we stopped excluding non Christians. It has also been brought to my attention that the word Eggs may cause offence to Vegans so it is clearly time to remove these outdated, hate-filled monstrosities from Irish society.”

The government also confirmed that Christmas Trees will no longer be called Christmas Trees and will from this year onwards be known as Holiday Trees.

“Again it’s a simple matter of creating a more inclusive society and the best way to do that is to ban stuff and be offended by everything. Happy holidays everyone! I’m off to buy a chocolate sphere for my non-denominational life partner.”