Supporters of Fine Gael’s Charlie Flanagan were out in force in Portlaoise this morning for one last rally before tomorrow’s election. Mr. Flanagan was not present at the rally himself but said he appreciates his loyal support and is confident he can retain his seat.
“I have been in Dáil Eireann for over 30 years now and although I really should have retired a long time ago I intend to keep riding this gravy train for as long as I can. I’m just wondering what a guy has to do to be in contention for an OBE. Surely Her Majesty can’t ignore me much longer.”
Mr. Flanagan was the man responsible for the ill-fated commemoration for the Royal Irish Constabulary and its various nasty offshoots like the Auxiliaries and the Black & Tans and saw nothing mental about the government of a state celebrating those who violently opposed the creation of that state.
“Well when you put it like that it does sound a bit mad but it wasn’t like that.” he said in a recent interview. “I believe in celebrating all traditions on this Island and although the Black & Tans are not a tradition on this Island, in fact they were overwhelmingly English, 80% I believe, actually they hated the Irish and carried out hundreds of arson attacks on people’s homes and murdered many Irish civilians, not to mention the fact that they burned Cork City to the ground. Sorry what was the question again?”
Mr. Flanagan said he’s looking forward to getting back to work and campaigning for real issues like Ireland re-joining the Commonwealth and Channel 4 re-naming hit comedy Derry Girls ‘Londonderry Ladies’. “It’s republican propaganda!” he told the Shankill Road Herald.