Cat Just Wishes Family Would Piss Off Back To Work


A local cat whose family are self-isolating at home due to the coronavirus wishes they’d just piss off back to work. Fluffy Molloy from Tullamore loved having the house to himself all day long but now has to share it 24 hours a day with his owners Joe and Deirdre.

“My whole routine has been thrown into turmoil.” said Fluffy. “Every morning after they’d leave for work I’d lie down and have a nice little 10-hour nap until they came home and fed me. Now they’re here all day watching Netflix and talking shite. I don’t like change.”

Fluffy said the worst thing about having Joe and Deirdre home all day is that they won’t leave him alone and let him do his own thing.

“When I’m not sleeping I like to lick my arse clean but those two won’t leave me in peace. Picking me up every few minutes trying to play with me. Humans can be so annoying at times. Well done on the whole coronavirus thing by the way. What’s your next trick, a plague that wipes out half the planet? You horrible two-legged freaks!”