UK To Have Their Cats Vaccinated Before We Get To Our Over 70’s

Gov1

The UK is on course to have its entire cat population vaccinated by the time Ireland gets to people aged over 70. As things stand, Britain has vaccinated 25% of its population while Ireland has managed just 2%. We asked Minister for Health Stephen Donnelly what the fuck he’s playing at.

“That’s not fair. You’re comparing us to a country that’s doing well. If you compare us to a country that’s doing terrible then the figures look much better. What is it with you people, always expecting us to do our job. Holding us to the highest standards. Criticising all our cock-ups. Making fun of my egg-shaped head. I never asked for this horrible job. I wanted to be Minister for Sport or something fun.”

So are the rumours true? Are the Brits actually going to have their cats vaccinated by the time we get to vaccinate our over 70’s?

“Don’t be ridiculous.”said the Minister. “There’s no need to exaggerate. This is a serious matter. Their dogs maybe but not their cats.”