Daniel Craig Confirmed As The Next Bridget Jones

It has been confirmed that James Bond actor Daniel Craig will take over the role of Bridget Jones from Reneé Zellweger. The announcement follows news earlier this year that after decades of being portrayed as a white man, the next 007 will be a black woman with actress Lashana Lynch in the lead role.

Many James Bond fans believe the films should remain true to the original Ian Fleming books in which 007 is a man but according to many social media users that’s because those fans are women-hating far-right racist scum who voted for Brexit and love Hitler.

Bridget Jones producer Emma Gormley explained why Daniel Craig was chosen to play such an iconic female role.

“These are changing times and in our next movie Bridget chooses to identify as a male. As we all know the dark old days of people being born either male or female are gone and today a person’s sex is a matter of choice. For example we now know that there are over a hundred sexes from non-binary to gender fluid and so on. Doctors say there are only two of course but they don’t know shit!”

Meanwhile in Hollywood it has been confirmed that the next Rocky Balboa will be played by a transgender Asian bisexual disabled vegan Muslim woman with learning difficulties and a limp. Just as soon as they manage to find one.