Boris Johnson Admits He’s Just Talking Out Of His Arse Now

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson has admitted that he has no idea what he’s saying anymore regarding his lockdown rule-breaking party shenanigans and that he’s now just talking out of his arse.

During an interview with the BBC this morning after the damning Sue Grey report was published, Mr. Johnson said “I’ve run out of excuses to be perfectly honest so I’m just not going to bother making any more up. I think it’s obvious to everyone I’ve been talking out of my arse. I partied like a rock star all through the pandemic. In fact I never stopped. I partied like it was 1989 or whatever the hell that song says.”

The Prime Minister’s most recent attempt at an excuse, claiming he didn’t understand the rules, was probably the final straw for most people as they were actually his rules.

So given the Sue Grey report’s evidence against him and his own admission that he has been talking out of his arse, Boris Johnson was asked if he will now resign.

“Yes. Definitely. I’m going to resign immediately. Although on second thoughts, no. I’m never going to resign. See? Talking out of my arse again. Lol. I just can’t help myself. Anyone know of any good parties happening tonight?”